


atlas

by carolinka



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 15:31:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18694273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolinka/pseuds/carolinka
Summary: Steve and Tony alone, for the first time after Civil War.





	atlas

**Author's Note:**

> No pepperony in this fic. I make the rules and I fucking love them.

He finds Tony in the small balcony of his room. It’s a small one, hardly big enough to put two chairs on the marble. It’s almost absurd, finding him under open skies with his feet on the ground. The Tony he remembers is always flying high enough that he disappears even to his enhanced eyes, bantering with him, eyes meeting over others’ heads, always something to drink in his hands. His repulsive smoothies because he can’t be arsed to chew, a coffee, some expensive scotch.

_“Never put ice in these Cap,” he said, a bit too serious and enthusiastic to be just talking about the drink. The glint in his eyes when he glances at Steve under his thick lashes warms and scares him at the same time. Tony shouldn’t put so much context for such seemingly shallow talks. He is a man of small words and short sentences. Even though he never seems to say what he means to say when it come to this man. It sometimes hurts his head to keep up with him. Maybe he doesn’t even mean anything at all, maybe Tony just wants to keep him around. Steve does it all the time, says the first thing that comes to his mind and Tony looks at him blankly before he fumbles to say something, anything. He remembers trying to joke then, to be charming. And he said, “Not a fan of ice anyway Tony,” but Tony’s face falls, shoots Steve a scared look. Not one that says he’s afraid of hurting Steve, it’s the one that says he thinks he’s already hurt him and is waiting for Steve to lash out. It’s of actual fear of Steve, of his fury and venom. But he can’t bring himself to smile and he just can’t look away. He probably looks like he wants to murder him because his facial muscles breaks down when he’s around Tony_.

Tony’s shaking briefly, arms around his now skinny legs. The t-shirt he has on is almost see-through, his scapulas jutting. Steve hesitates for a minute before he decides fuck it, and sits beside him on the cold floor. He hears the small hitch in Tony’s breath and that’s enough to shake him through his core. He’s so weak when it comes to this man. If it was anyone else he’d put it as surprise or discomfort but he knows Tony reacts to him just as he reacts to Tony.

He shrugs off his jacket and gingerly puts it around Tony’s shoulders. He imagines tucking him in, closing up the zipper, pulling him in an embrace but he doesn’t dare doing more than this.

He shifts towards him, particularly loud in the vast openness before them, when Tony is not making any noises. He doesn’t stop until their sides are pressed together.

“Is this my cologne?” Tony breaks the silence after some time. Steve winces, heart pounding in his rib cage and everything in him screams at him to lie, to deny such thing but... he just can’t bring himself to lie anymore.

“I wanted a part of you,” he mumbles, hiding his face in his other shoulder. He can feel the moment Tony turns to him, his breath tickling his neck, that’s how much they’re close, that’s how hard he’s breathing.

“Sometimes I really don’t get you,” Tony snaps, and yeah, that was what he was expecting in the first place. “What the fuck is this all about anyway?”

“I think that’s pretty obvious Tony,” he says, eyes now gazing into his, breaths mixing together. He can smell faint trace of alcohol on Tony’s breath, like he’s already brushed his teeth. His gaze flickers to his mouth, dry and cracked in the corners, white in his beard more visible than ever. The lines around his lips are deeper, lips turned down almost in a sneer. It’s still the only mouth he wants to kiss.

“I know nothing when it comes to you and you’ve made that clear many times before, Rogers,” he sighs, all fight seemingly out of him. So much quicker to abort the ship before he went ahead and ruined everything between them.

“But you do. You did back then and it hasn’t changed,” Steve whispers softly, his hand catching Tony’s tiny wrist gently, and he runs his fingers until their fingers are interlaced.

“Steve, just don’t,” he almost says it petulantly, impatiently. “I fucking know what am I to you.” But he doesn’t draw his hand back and his icy fingers actually curl around his.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve stares at him sternly, grinding his teeth together and while his muscles were exceptionally stronger since the serum, he doesn’t think his skeleton matches it.

Tony huffs, “You put your shield through my heart.” His voice is devoid of any blame, just stating a fact. “You know I could have killed you both with hardly any effort.” He laughs humorlessly, “God knows how well I blow the shit up.”

Steve knows it’s not about them anymore, it’s about Peter and he missed that too, didn’t he? He could’ve been there with Tony for that kid.

“After all these years I still can’t decide if these all happened because we were meant to be or not meant to be,” Tony says in a small voice. It’s not far from a slap to his face but also kinder than he deserves.

“I’d like to believe the former,” Steve says smiling tenderly, “fucking everything up and still coming back to each other. Would’ve made a nice novel.”

Tony sniggers and oh fuck, Steve is smitten all right. He almost feels like he’s floating, a sound he didn’t even realize he missed. A salve to a life long scar. “Always a pleasure to hear you curse, Cap,” Tony drawls. “You’ve come a long way from ‘language’.”

Steve just smiles at him, keeping their eye contact for once, not afraid of the things they might reveal. He cradles Tony’s hand between his larger hands and kisses each knuckle before he nuzzles it to his cheek.

It’s more than he ever believed possible after Siberia, when Tony brings his other hand to caress his face.

“I shaved for you,” Steve can’t help but blurt out. He feels Tony shake with laughter next to him and he feels a smug satisfaction for being the one to draw it out of him.

“I know,” he grins, “it was kind of badass.”

“Had to look my best for my man.”

Tony laughs quietly at that, fingers drawing mindless figures on his thigh. And despite the guilt, and the whole universe hanging from their shoulders, he thinks, this is the moment I want to live in.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think! :)


End file.
